Susan Meyer, who lives across the street, brought macaroni and cheese.
Her husband Carl always teased her about her macaroni, saying it was the only
thing she knew how to cook, and she rarely made it well.
It was too salty the night she and Carl moved into their house.
It was too watery the night she found lipstick on Carl’s shirt.
She burned it the night Carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary.
A year had passed since the divorce.
Susan was starting to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life, even
one who would make fun of her cooking.
- Mom, why would someone kill themselves?
- Well, sometimes people are so unhappy they think that’s the only way they can
solve their problems.
- But Mrs. Young always seemed happy.
- Yeah, sometimes people pretend to be one way on the outside when they’re
totally different on the inside.
- Oh you mean how Dad’s girlfriend is always smiling and says nice things but
deep down you just know she’s a bitch.
- I don’t like that word, Julie. But yeah, that’s a great example.
- You’re welcome.
- Hey, what’s going on?
- Sorry I’m late.
- Hi, Susan.
- Hey.
- So? What did Carl say when you confronted him?
- You’ll love this, he said, “It doesn’t mean anything, it was just sex.”
- Oh yes, page one of the philanderer’s handbook.
- Yeah, and then he got this Zen look on his face, and he said, “You know Susan,
most men live lives of quiet desperation.”
- Please tell me you punched him
- No, I said, “Really? And what do most women lead, lives of noisy fulfillment?”
- Good for you
- I mean, of all people, did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman
over for brunch
- It’s like my grandmother always said, an erect penis doesn’t have a
conscience.
- Even the limp ones aren’t that ethical
- This is half the reason I joined the NRA.
- Well, when Rex started going to those medical conferences, I wanted at the
back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home, with a loaded Smith and
Wesson.
- Lynnie? Tom’s always away on business. Do you ever worry he might..?
- Oh, please, the man’s gotten me pregnant three times in four years.
I wish he was having sex with someone else.
- So Susan, is he going to stop seeing that woman?
- I don’t know. I’m sorry you guys, I just… I just don’t know how I’m going to
survive this.
- Listen to me. We all have moments of desperation.
But if we can face them head-on, that’s how we find out just how strong we
really are.
- Susan? Susan. I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on Friday.
He needs us to go through Mary Alice’s closet, and help pack up her things.
He says he can’t face doing it by himself.
- Sure, that’s fine.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah. I’m just so angry. If Mary Alice was having problems, she should have
come to us; she should have let us help her.
- What kind of problems could she have had? She was healthy, had a great home, a
nice family. Her life was… -
- … our life.
- No, if Mary Alice was having some sort of crisis, we’d have known.
She lives 50 feet away, for god’s sakes.
- Gabby, the woman killed herself. Something must’ve been going on.
- Oh, I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.
- Why?
- I made it, trust me. Hey, hey, do you have a death wish?
- No, I just refuse to believe that anybody can screw up macaroni and cheese.
- Oh my god. How did you… it tastes like it’s burnt and undercooked.
- Yeah, I get that a lot. Here you go.
- Thanks.
