Voice-activated Elevator: "They Don't Do Scottish Accents"
Where's the buttons?
No, no. They've installed voice recognition technology in this lift. I've heard
about this.
Voice recognition technology? In a lift? In Scotland? You ever tried voice
recognition technology?
No.
They don't do Scottish accents.
Eleven.
Could you please repeat that?
Eleven.
Eleven. Eleven.
Eleven.
Could you please repeat that?
Eleven.
Whose idea was this? You need to try an American accent.
Eleven. Eleven.
That sounds Irish, not American.
Doesn't it?
Eleven.
Where in America is that, Dublin?
I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?
Try an English accent, all right?
Eleven. Eleven.
Are you from the same part of England as Dick Van Dyke?
Let's hear yours then, smart-ass.
Please speak slowly and clearly.
Smart-ass.
Eleven.
I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?
ELEVEN. If you don't understand the lingo, away back home to your own country!
Ooo, it's that talk now, is it, away back home to your own country?
Oh, don't start Mr. Bleeding Heart, how can you be racist to a lift?
Please speak slowly and clearly.
Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.
You're just saying it the same way.
I wanna keep saying it until it understands Scottish, all right?
Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.
Just take us anywhere, you cow. Just open the doors.
This is a voice-activated elevator.
Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.
Calm? Calm? Where's that coming from? Why's it telling people to be calm?
Because they knew they'd be selling this to Scottish people who'd be going off
their nuts at it.
You have not selected a floor.
Aye, we have. Eleven!
If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply
say, "Open the doors, please."
Please? Please?? Suck my wally.
Why didn't you just say please?
I'm not begging that for nothing.
Open the doors, please?
Please? Pathetic.
Please remain calm.
Would you let me up to that, get me up there! Right, just wait for it to speak.
You have not selected a floor.
Up yours, you cow. If you don't open these doors, I'm going to come to America,
I'm going to find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice and I'm gonna get
an electric chair for you.
Scotland.
Scotland.
Scotland.
Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.
Going up?
Телешоу, ТВ-передачи на английском: Voice-activated Elevator: "They Don't Do Scottish Accents"
